Living Life

We all have that thing in life that we are very good at. For me, that thing is working. Not to be full of myself, but in the few jobs that I have had, i have always been one of the best. In high school, when i first started working i was good at it. Of course, I made mistakes, but the way i handled myself after making those mistakes and becoming a better employee was what made me the best. Now in college, in three years, I became the "HNIC" for lack of a better title. Haha. But in all seriousness, in three years of working, which was really only two, with my break in between, I was able to work myself up to being in charge. I was able to show my boss that I am the man, as my friends call me, "The Chosen One". I think the key to my success is that i have ben able to have jobs where I love what i do. Back home, I love working with kids and I love theme parks and sports, etc. Being able to put all of these things into one job is the best. At school, I love sports and being able to be around sports everyday is amazing.

On the other hand, we all have that thing that we need to keep working on. The thing that I need to work on the most, as well as im sure the vast majority of people do, is this whole relationship thing. I've had a number of relationships. Some have been the best, even perfect in many ways. And yet none of them have lasted. Most of the time it is on my part, but I am a firm believer that a relationship involves two people. Two people to make it work and two people to destroy it. I have done my fair share of things that didnt help anything, but in the end it was something that neither of us could do. But we keep trying. I keep trying. I keep searching for the next one to be the one, or to think if the last one was the one. It is a never-ending struggle to find THAT one. I know in my heart that whoever that woman is for me, when it is supposed to work, it will. I hope its you. ; )

Until the day comes, when everything is just working for me, I am going to live my life. Live each day as its my last. Have as much fun as I can becuase life is short. But i love it. I have fun. Meet new people. And make sure I have no regrets in life.

Why can't life just be easy?

Why can't things just go the way we want them to? Why cant everything work out the way it needs to for me? Why do things have to be so complicated?

I really wish i had the answers to all of these questions. Instead of living my life everyday wondering what i was going to fuck up next. I have been very blessed throughout my life, with things ive received, the people ive met, the connections ive made, and the opportunities which have been afforded to me. And yet there is always something that goes horribly wrong. And it always comes around to being my fault. Not that other blame me, but maybe they do, but its just that i always find the fault in my actions toward every situation. I find what i did wrong and thats what goe through my mind constantly.

I try to live my life one day at a time. I think that what happened yesterday was yesterdays news, why keep talking about it for days, weeks, or years after. Talking about it and reflecting will not change what happened, so just forget about it. Take what you can learn from that situation and move on. This has worked for me in my life, for the most part. Its also gotten me into a lot of trouble. But at the end of the day, its how i cope with things so i continue to do it.

There are people in my life who are extremely important to me. I dont let people know this but they are my lifeline. They are what wakes me up every morning and the reason I am able to leave the house everyday. They are the sunshine of my life. They are what allows me to smile and to be the person that I am. Most important of these people is my family, my mother, grandmother, grandfather, and my lil sister. These four people are my everything. My life would be lost without them. However i overlook this fact a lot and take advantage of all of these people, unknowingly. And that is bad, I should be showing these people how much they mean to me. Tomorrow is never promised and so i need to learn to act now. Another person in my life will definitely agree with that last statement. And to that person, you are also one of my lifelines. You are somebody that i feel i can always count on, no matter what goes on between us, i feel you will always be there for me. And i need that support and that help. I need that company, especially from you. Simple instances make out nicely everytime. I need you and I want you.

One day I will look up everything will make sense. My life will feel like I have no further questions. Until that day comes, I am going to keep struggling my way through life. I am going to keep fucking up and making it better, maybe to just fuck it up again. And thats how i will spend each day. Searching for the answers. I cannot wait til this day.

LIFE,

Please come easy!

Special

You are special to me.
From the moment you walked into my life
I knew that you could be my wife.
From the first time I laid eyes on you
I knew one day I was going to make u my boo.
The first time we touched,
I had no idea it would affect me so much.
Jus the feel of your skin drives me crazy
It makes me wanna lay wit u and jus be lazy.
Looking in your eyes sets me on fire
Bc you i cant help but admire
Your face,
Your lips,
Your eyes,
Your thighs,
Your legs,
Your hands,
Your stomach,
Your flaws make u perfect
Your happiness is all that I expect.
I know I can make u feel right
I know i can care for you with all my might.
I know that you are the one
For you are my stars, my moon, and my sun.